SMUT BOOKS

 Now you can't make this up

For a while now I have watched my better half read these smut books. What is a smut book you ask? In simple terms it's a book that is PORN!!!!!!! Wahoo! Porn yay? Porn NO!!!!! So recently I thought to myself what's in these books that makes my better so turned on that she has to stop and fan herself with said book. What is in these books that make women love and read them so much? So, I have devised a research plan. Step one read and a smut book and see what's in them. Step two figure out what is in the book that turns my better half on so much. Step three figure out why women love smut books so much. Also, in an added bonus, I get to do something my wife enjoys and we can do it together. I embark on my mission. Now I should add I'm not much of a reader. So, I thought.... LIGHTBLUB! I'll listen. I got myself an audio book. Yes, I downloaded the book my wife is reading but one problem is when do I listen to my book I listen while I am at the grocery store. Now, can you imagine a tattooed guy standing behind the sweet elderly lady listening to a voice say, "I slowly took off her panties". What if my headphones disconnect from my phone?? What if others hear it?? I will look the biggest weirdo ever. Another lightbulb moment I had is what if I listen while I'm at work, during my down time. It'd be perfect! Being at work I found myself some down time. I should add, where I work, I use a golf cart to get around in my warehouse. Imagine this, I pull into one of the empty lanes where we rack and store products. So, now my mood is set in a dark and empty lane. Just me and my smut book. I hit play and my book starts, and a voice starts reading. Now at first, I thought "this is lame" and to slow for me. Like how boring of a book. How can anyone read such a slow book? But yet I let it play on and still sitting in my golf cart still listening it starts talking about men stalking women and, in my head, "well that will end you up in court with a restraining order" like what the hell?? Women like this stuff?!?! Whatever, all of a sudden, we get to the magical moment..... the great sex scene!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now let me just say what I heard. Holy shit. It's tie me up, slap me, spit in my face, choke me, force me. The language in this book is freakin nuts. That being said there may be women out in the world that may enjoy such acts. So, who am I to judge? However, now I have a problem. I'm turned on!! The worst of it...... a damn hard on. Yes, all alone. In my lane...... on my golf cart.... with a hard on from a damn book. I instantly text my wife "What have you done to me I started my book and now I have a hard on?" Do you what her response was? "Pretty good huh"?? What the f**k lady we have problem on our hands and all you can say is "pretty good huh?". But worst of all I'm like, I have to keep reading (listening) to find out what happens with this stalker and woman in the story. Remember, I'm on a mission. Knowing what I have listened to in my book I think back to my three points as to why I started this book. Step one, what is in the book. I figured it's things that will make you need to go to church. Lord help me! After an eight-hour day of work I return home to my family, and I inform my wife that I have some questions. It's the end of the night and it's time for bed. Lying in bed with my wife I ask "do you want me to do any those things to you during that special time?" Her answer "we can try some of it". Honey, do you have any idea how many felonies that is?? Now here I am still reading my book and still and still doing my research and now hooked on smut books.